if you can lead thirty-one 14-year-olds ...

When people see a man who combines high standards with compassion, they know he has grown beyond his personal biases, and they will follow him.

When people see a man who is humble, they know they have nothing to fear from him; he is not out for himself, and they will follow him. 

When people see a man soaked in [learning] and fervent in prayer, they know he is bringing them something from beyond their world, and will follow him. 

~ Ray Ortlund, “The Cost of Leadership” (15.jan.11)

Why exactly is it that our students follow us?  Last night, I watched a wide range of personalities that I have come to know and love walk across the stage at the Teach for America Nashville alumni induction, and I reflected on what makes our movement successful.  I don’t think it is because we’re such great teachers the day we come back from Institute, and I’m not even sure it is because we’ve improved so much over the past two years. 

In fact, I think it’s critical that I didn’t do either of these things; I failed at teaching according to most metrics.  And I think that’s a good thing.  It’s not simply good in some trite “I’ve learned so much” way or because “it challenged me to make myself better.”  Those may be true, but moreover, it’s good that I failed because it showed me that I can’t do it all.  I’m not sure I had truly fallen flat before – or at least I hadn’t worked so hard to do so.  Once I had accepted this failure, it changed the way I taught, and I think my students began to realize it wasn’t about me - it was about them.  From this place of humility, my classroom actually did begin to turn around.  As I approach the end of my teaching career, I am thinking that any future leadership must continue to cultivate this loss of self-importance. 

I think this is what I appreciate most about the Teaching as Leadership model, and will carry on with me; like the quote above, it directs us away from ourselves – and even our development – and towards students, and student development.  “High standards with compassion” … I may never be the smartest teacher, the most interesting teacher, or even be good at teaching, but I can expect greatness and I can offer support; in short, I can’t fix myself, but I can love others.  My students don’t follow a perfect teacher, and they know it.  They follow because, like the third line of Dr. Ortlund’s quote, they see someone modeling growth and passion.  Again, I may not be smart, or rich, or popular, or powerful, but I can grow and be passionate. 

We bring our students a lot “from beyond their world,” but the style of leadership we’ve been taught is beyond any world.  Humility, compassion, hope, exhortation, maturation, passion ... I hope I get the opportunity to continue to fail better in pursuit of it. 

“You don’t have to know a lot of things to make a lasting difference in this world … The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by one great thing.”

~ John Piper, Don’t Waste Your Life (p. 44)

ditto for blessings

corollary to yesterday:  

in the same way we need to be careful of exalting a sacrifice itself, and not the freedom for which it was intended, we need to be careful not to take joy in a blessing itself, and not the price paid to make it possible.

"Woe to me if I exult in any blessing of any kind at any time, unless my exulting is an exulting in the cross of Christ"

~ John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life (p. 54)

it's hard for packrats to find Jesus

"The thief comes only to steal, kill, & destroy; I come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." 

~ Jesus of Nazareth (John 10:10)

The common American take on the season of Lent bothers me.  If our view of Christianity is of giving up things, we have it all wrong.  The things we feel we are "giving up" are our idols even in their esteemed absence, and show us that we don't yet understand the joy and freedom of a life lived with Christ.  Like packrats, we keep things to protect ourselves because we fear the worst, hoarding junk designed to prevent or ameliorate loss, death, and destruction.  We think we are living because we aren't dying.  But our protection, fences, and hedges make it hard to run freely after Christ.  He wanted us to live life more fully - or abundantly - in the present. Sure, running means giving up some things - the last guy who tried to run a marathon in full armor died - but anything we give up is for a greater freedom, not just sacrifice for its own sake.  If we're still bemoaning what we gave up, we aren't yet free. 

"When people talk about coming to Christ, they often talk about what they gave up, as if they made a heroic sacrifice.  If it still seems like sacrifice, we don't get it yet - whatever we sacrificed is so much bullshit.  Take the trophies off the mantle, throw them in the trashcan, have a good laugh, and follow the Yes, the Amen."

~ Ray Ortlund (08.mar.11)

We think a full life is all about us and what we've done - or not done.  Christ made the only heroic sacrifice.

more than a ticket

If we would embrace the glory of God, we must embrace the gospel of Christ.  The reason for this is not only because we are sinners and need a savior to die for us, but also because this Savior is Himself the fullest and most beautiful manifestation of the glory of God.

~  John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life (p. 40)

preseason conditioning

"Praying exposes how self-preocupied we are and uncovers our doubts.  It is easier on our faith not to pray.  After only a few minutes, our prayer is in shambles.  Barely out of the starting gate, we collapse on the sidelines - cynical, guilty, and hopeless." 

~ Paul Miller, A Praying Life (p. 15)

Prayer is our preseason conditioning for our faith.  It uncovers our weaknesses, and presses into us at that point so that we don't end up on the sidelines in the game.  Come train: Fridays @ Ugly Muggs, East Nashville, 6 a.m. 

nonessential

We are nothing and nobodies, but that we do think so is very evident; we anxiously enquire, "How will the work go on without me?" As well might the fly on the coach wheel enquire, "How will the mails be carried without me?"

~ C. H. Spurgeon

I am not needed; I am not essential to the process.  I am wanted and invited to join. 

praise comes hard to a tree-hugger

Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up.

Matthew 21: 8-10

I live in East Nashville, which means two things: I'm a bit vain about my fashion, and I support recycling.  Thus, when I read this passage in memory of this event, I had two looming questions:  Why would anyone let a donkey walk on - and probably ruin - their jacket?  And why would they cut off the tree branches of life-giving oxygen? 

Less facetiously, why would anyone cut off the branches they needed for shade during the sun and simultaneously ruin the coat they needed when night set in?  It seems foolish; is this what was required to for proper honor?  Is this what God needed from us? 

Then I connected it with this passage from Lewis, and it hit me: God didn't need praise, and God doesn't need our praise - we do.  It feels - and is - unnatural to get excited about ourselves.  Praise is not honoring something, but getting excited about it.  Praise completes our enjoyment, and invites others in:

The most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or anything — strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honour. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise… The world rings with praise ... of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars. . . . I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment … It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed.

C.S. Lewis (Reflections on Psalms, p. 90)

Forgotten

HT: Ray Ortlund

“Over half a century ago, while I was still a child, I recall hearing a number of older people offer the following explanation for the great disasters that had befallen Russia: ‘Men have forgotten God; that’s why all this has happened.’

Since then I have spent well-nigh fifty years working on the history of our revolution; in the process I have read hundreds of books, collected hundreds of personal testimonies, and have already contributed eight volumes of my own toward the effort of clearing away the rubble left by that upheaval. But if I were asked today to formulate as concisely as possible the main cause of the ruinous revolution that swallowed up some sixty million of our people, I could not put it more accurately than to repeat: ‘Men have forgotten God; that’s why all this has happened.’”

Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The Templeton Address (10.may.1983)

recipe for revival

"If we are to obtain a revival, we must go directly to the Holy Ghost for it, and not resort to the machinery of the professional revival-maker."

~ Spurgeon (Murray, Spurgeon v. the Hyper-Calvinists, p. 30)

cooking tomorrow morning ... come join, Ugly Muggs, East Nashville, 6 a.m. ... come hungry

life is tough, i'm a wimp

It is not that trials are necessary, but that grieving is necessary so that we might find joy and dependence in Christ alone.  Feeling our weakness is a necessary experience, being wounded as Christ was wounded.  Under crushing reality, our pat answers and trite opinions do not suffice.

Ray Ortlund (6.mar.11)

God does not allow hard times so that we "learn a lesson," "get stronger," or "earn our stripes" - Christianity is not fraternity pledgeship.  God allows trials so that we get past our man-made systems (of religion, government, or economics), turn to Him, and experience who He really is.  As Calvin said, "We are blind both to who we are, and to who God is, though we have strong opinions."  Suffering hurts in a large part because it challenges those opinions by slamming them up against reality. 

When Paul writes about "rejoicing in suffering," he tells us to rejoice because it reduces us to hope based on our weakness:

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame ... for while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.   (Paul's Letter to the Romans, 5:3-6)

how democracy damages faith

We cannot respond to God's love correctly without recognizing His sovereignty.  We love because he first loved us; we do not choose it - we cannot choose it, for we cannot choose to recognize sovereignty.  A king that requires his people's recognition of his kingship is no king at all.  Democracy has ruined our understanding of God. 

But why - if God is both a sovereign and good king - does he not harness evil?  First, "if a man is thinking of claims and counterclaims against God, he has not yet understood who God is." (C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock)  In putting God on trial, we assume another principal of democracy, namely the idea of "checks and balances."  We even pray as if we are going to make sure that God does the right thing and meets the needs He might otherwise overlook; we are not the check on God's power - and neither is evil.  There is no sort of karmatic balance.  If God is not absolutely in control of evil, we're in trouble.  God, who did not create evil, is in charge of evil, but if He destroyed it now, He would have to destroy us with it. 

"One day, He will destroy evil once and for all, but for now he does what we cannot and handles evil without being overcome by it, producing His will and good from it, the most magnificent example being our salvation through His Son."  (Ray Ortlund, 28.nov.10)  His love is an alternate, merciful expression of His sovereignty, not a withholding of it.  His love comes out of His sovereign control, and cannot exist without it. 

"The Lord reigns; his is robed in majesty; the Lord is robed, He has put on strength as His belt. 
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved. 
Your throne is established from of old; You are from everlasting."

Psalm 93:1-2

why Christianity is different, part ii

Jesus, unlike the founder of any other major faith, holds out hope for ordinary human life.  Our future is not an ethereal, impersonal form of consciousness.  We will not float through the air, but rather will eat, embrace, sing, laugh and dance in the kingdom of God, in degrees of power, glory, and joy that we can't at present imagine.  Jesus will make the world our perfect home again.  We will no longer be living "East of Eden," always wandering and never arriving.

Tim Keller, Prodigal God, p. 104

spiritually spartan

A church is not a debate society, a church is an army.  ~ Ray Ortlund (15.jan.11)

I teach vocabulary by giving the history of the word, such that each word has a story.  Right now we are studying words that stem from Ancient Greece, and I have been struck by words like "spartan" and "laconic," which both imply a minimalistic approach to life.  While the Athenians were known for their philosophy, the Spartans were known for their intense training and minimalistic living so that they would not become accustomed to the comforts of life - and thereby become unready for battle.  Paul suggests the same thing about Christianity:

"No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."  ~ St. Paul (1 Cor. 9:27)

I am amazed at how much spiritual disciplines - intense prayer, fasting, etc. - focus my faith.  I am not simply reading the gospel for my next cool lesson, and I certainly don't care that I have something shiny from scripture to show off next Sunday.  I'm not collecting souveneirs; I don't have that energy or luxury for that baggage.  I don't even want the best things in this life - that's consumerism. I want to be a spiritual spartan: fit, trim, and ready to deploy. 

"The church is like a ship designed for battle, to mobilize its people for a mission."  (David Platt, Radical)

spring fever

Think of three kinds of people - a business associate you don't really like, a friend you enjoy doing things with, and someone you are in love with (and who is in love with you).  Your conversations with the business associate with be quite goal-oriented; you won't be interested in chit-chat.  With your friend, you may open your heart about some of the problems you are having.  But with your lover you will sense a strong impulse to speak about what you find beautiful about him/her.  These three kinds of discourse are analogous to forms of prayer that have been called "petition," "confession," and "adoration."  The deeper the love relationship, the more conversation heads towards the personal and towards affirmation and praise. 

(Tim Keller, Prodigal God, p. 64)

it's beautiful outside.  i want to be in love again.  let's pray: ugly muggs, east nashville, 6 a.m. tomorrow

criticism

"Whatever my critic thinks of me is far too generous - if he could see me as God does, he wouldn't hold such a high view!" 

Ray Ortlund (15.jan.11)

how good people treat other people

"When you don't see yourself as being part of a common community of sinners, you become trapped by your own bitterness; it is impossible to forgive someone if you feel superior to him/her."   ~  Tim Keller, Prodigal God, p. 55

... if you've been able to make it through my wandering musings on the problems with being good - and particularly if they have intrigued you or pissed you off - check out Keller's Prodigal God book for yourself.  It's the best explanation I've found on how we react to authority as humans.  Best of all, it's not much longer than this series of posts, and a lot easier to read!  :)

when being "good" is bad, part ii

"The modern world is not evil; in some ways the modern world is far too good. It is full of wild and wasted virtues."   

G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

As a teacher, I often hear that I am "too petty," act "too strict" or do "too much."  Effectively, I hear that my classroom is too focused on rule-following, high expectations, and hard work.  These elements are not what I am trying to teach, but I need to have expectations and rules in order to create an environment in which students can learn. 

Every semester, there are two kinds of students who fail.  The first kind are the students who break all the rules and in doing so never give themselves any opportunity to pass; no one is surprised when they fail.  The other kind are the students who have followed every rule, taken notes every day, and acted as model students; everyond is surprised when they fail.  They often come to me after class to protest; it's painful to have to explain that I was not testing them on their affect behavior, but rather insisting on affect behavior so that they could learn to apply the knowledge they receive.  Being good is only the means by which the end of understanding is achieved; these students were too good while not being engaged enough with what was important.  As Chesterton put it, their virtues were "wasted."

We don't get what Chesterton is saying here.  If we did, we wouldn't feel so bad for that "good student" who failed.  If we did, we wouldn't ask questions about what happens to "good people."  We wouldn't wonder about the things we've done - we'd know that they were "wasted virtues" at best.  

Jesus identified the same problem in his society that I see daily in the next generation of ours.  In his gospel (ch 9), John records a story in which Christ healed a blind man by putting mud on his eyes, giving him "light" - the classic literary metaphor for understanding.  This miracle upset the Jewish teachers because He did it on the Sabbath, which was breaking the rules.  They challenged Jesus. 

As he responded, "Some of the Pharisees hearing these things asked Him, 'Are we also blind?'  Jesus answered, 'If you were blind, you would have no guilt, but now that you say, 'We see,' your guilt remains.'" (v. 40-41) 

Jesus is telling us that we are too good.  In fact, it is our very trying to be good that damns us.  If we were more aware of our sin, we would be more aware of our need for Christ.  If my student were more aware of how much they didn't know, they would be more aware of their need for knowledge.  I think this is why God doesn't take away all the things that are wrong in the world - they remind humanity of our need for God.  Jewish tradition believe that bad things happened because people didn't obey the rules - as consequence of sin.  Jesus instead says that "It is not this man that sinned, nor his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed."  (v. 3)

The problem is not that we are too sinful, or mess up too much.  God can fix that problem; in fact, he already has. 

As Tim Keller points out, man "is not losing the father's love in spite of his goodness, but because of it.  It is not his sins that create the barrier between him and his father, it's the pride he has in his moral record; it's not wrongdoing, but righteousness." 

(Prodigal God, p. 35)

when being "good" is bad

You diligently study the scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life.  These are the very Scriptures that testify about me ... I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me, but if someone comes in his own name, you will accept him.  How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes only from God?  But do not think I will accuse you before the Father.  Your accuser is Moses, on whom your hopes are set.

Jesus of Nazareth (from John's Gospel, 5:39;43-45)

When I try to "be good," it's for one of two reasons - and Jesus calls me out on them right here:

1)  I do what I think is "good" because I selfishly want to earn my spot in eternity.  I make rules for myself regarding daily Bible reading, helping people that I judge as needier than myself, and other good habits because I think I can guarantee myself a better life. 

"There are two ways to be y our own Savior and Lord:  one is by breaking all moral law and setting your own course, and one is by keeeping all the moral law and being very, very good." 
(Keller, Prodigal God, p. 43)

2)  I seek other people's praise by means of being good - by upholding the moral law Moses gave Judeo-Christian tradition.  If no one notices, I will often stop doing good, because I find it unrewarding to simply complete the actions. 

Yet despite not seeking Christ, it is not He who will condemn me - he knows that I have a moral inability to seek Him; I will be damned by the rules that I elevated above Him, the moral fervor that I let envigorate me more than Him, and the actions that I let affirm me instead of Him.  It's not that Christ wants to judge us - He wants to affirm us, and is very jealous of the things we let take that place.  He is our cuckolded spouse, and just wants us back. 

He wants us to celebrate with Him.  I think it is very significant that His first miracle (two chapters earlier in John's gospel) was turning water to wine.  The jars He filled with wine were those used for purification rites, so effectively He turned holy water - meant for the cleansing of shortcomings which had kept us from God - to wine so that we could celebrate in Him, and let Him clean us up.  He both obeyed the rules by obeying His mother's request, and overtuned the rules by converting ritual water.  No ritual we do will match the joy and celebration that being with Him can bring ...

"When we read scripture, we bring a lens of rebellion to it, and harp on what we don't want to hear (rules) rather than glorying in the promises of God"  ~  Ray Ortlund (08.mar.11)